Since the invention of the first photographs in the 1800s, people have been obsessed with the idea of taking photos. Whether it’s a family portrait, an action shot at the beach, or a live sporting event, people have always used cameras to help capture memories they can cherish for years to come. Somewhere down the line, though, something went terribly wrong….the selfie.
The selfie, also known as the “lonely and desperate shot,” occurs when a person holds up a camera and awkwardly takes a picture of him or herself. These often encompass a “duck-face,” a peace sign and a completely misguided sense of pride and satisfaction. Sure, there are few occasions when a selfie is appropriate, such as hiking in a forest all alone where the only living creature within close distance to you is a 200 lb bear. Otherwise, the selfie is a big no no.
Masturbating > Selfie
For Generation-Y, the first cameras we got our hands on were disposable. From Kodak to Fuji, we were constantly winding up and snapping pics. The best part about disposable cameras (or arguably the worst) was that you couldn’t see a picture immediately after it was taken. You had to just assume it was a good shot, and move on. (Sidenote: the only “selfie” we took was when we’d steal one of our friends cameras and quickly snap a shot of our genitals — there was no way they could ever identify you. The perfect crime!).
Today we analyze every single picture like it’s a f*cking crime scene investigation: studying everything from our hair, to our smiles, to our postures. We have become virtually obsessed with the way we look in each shot. And for good reason, too. Now with the Internet and social media taking over our lives and consuming everything we do, if we don’t look good in a picture EVERYONE will see it! (Oh, the horror!).
So why take a selfie if you know you’re just going to look like the biggest tool on social media? It seems there is this bizarre sense of satisfaction some get from taking a selfie. Even Aaron Hernandez felt the need to take one that may go down in history as the dumbest f*cking selfie of all time.
Really, Aaron? You didn’t see at all why this may not be a good idea? You just had to have this solo shot of yourself holding the murder weapon? How could anyone possibly be this stupid!?
Could you imagine OJ taking a selfie!??
Whether it’s after committing a crime or you’re just in the bathroom during a pregame: if you take a selfie, you’re guilty!
So Gen-Yers, please stop taking these horrible pictures. They are pretty much the most embarrassing photos you could ever take, and everyone thinks lesser of you because of them. I don’t care where you are, if you feel the desperate need to take a picture, find someone else to hold the camera! Give it to the bear for god’s sake! Hopefully he just eats you instead!
Ultimately, if you’re one of these people who constantly feels the need to snap a selfie, good chance that in the end, you’re going to wind up alone.happy wheels